I have tried to persuade her to look at forums or see a psychiatrist to help her through the guilt but she doesnt want to be associated with the stigma attached with it. Hi Melanie, just dont do it! I just passed the due date of what would have been my baby had i decided not to terminate. I can hardly keep up with what I have now in my life. WASHINGTON The Biden administration on Monday told hospitals that they "must" provide abortion services if the life of the mother is at risk, saying federal law on emergency treatment. Luckily I was able to talk to my partner who was incredibly supportive but there were so many reasons for this not being the right time for us. I was rattled with anxiety and guilt and overwhelmed. And try my hardest at everything I do. I live with my boyfriend hes 39yrs old. God bless you and your family. For the first time in my life. I know my baby deserves a life I couldnt of given her now or at that time and I know one day she will come back to me, I get excited when i think about meeting her finally one day when we are both ready, I wish I had support here so I could cry to someone who gets it, Im 23 and I had my abortion at 5 weeks and three days in April. He told me that if I abort this baby we can plan a life together later he promises. If it makes you feel any better, abortion is highly unlikely to affect your future fertility equally though Im missing my baby a lot. No one understands what Im feeling, I hate myself for this. Please give me some advice Im so lost right now. And just as I had for months prior, I did so with ease, telling myself, What another waste of $15. See, my boobs hurt and were swollen; I was tired; I was hungry. I know Im going to love him when he is here but in the time being I am just purely struggling. It's a first-person account of a single mom who had an abortion - and nearly died - just two years after abortion became legal across the United States. Now that he had finally accepted it, it officially became reality. My boyfriend says I should abort it. Ive had 3 surgeries for endometriosis and fibroids. When God made me, He gave me a soul Time went on and as I struggled with my decision he eventually came around. Congratulations! I found your post when I was idly googling if I ever was a mother too and Im sitting here and crying. Physically or health wise and its not suppose to be this way. Abortion Poem Letter To Mommy From The Womb To be honest, I have always felt strongly against abortion. Would adoption be something you could manage? One day, maybe. I take his hand in mine and say, Everything thats happened the past few weeks doesnt matter anymore. Now he blames himself and cries like me everyday. He walks into the front room while I am mid-stand, so thats how I greet him. No matter how much support one has, it can so easily feel like you are going through it alone. I'll do my very best to be good. Every day I feel like a monster. I am nearly 25 now and had an abortion at 17. I did regret it but I cant imagine hows my life would had been if I didnt do it. I took the morning after pill and it failed. Even if you have others support around you, it can so easily feel like youre going through it alone. Took the first pill today to block the hormones. I am a teacher and take care of infants to two year olds, Im devastated because in a better situation I would have kept this child. I aborted my second child at 10 weeks 16 years ago and have regretted it since. Seven months latter she wrote this letter to a priest. I dont want to do this, but the dad is not ready and I am not able to care for a child alone at this point. I cry all the time and I dont think Ill ever stop. My significant other is leaving the decision to me and will support either way it goes but I just dont know what to do. Im always hunted by guilt almost everyday, same as you Im also working in Nursery school, so I always see kids that reminds of my poor one. It haunts me every day . We left the hospital with him saying we can try again. I had an abortion past the point of having the pill so had to have the surgery, It was the most painful time of my life physically and emotionally and I never expected it would continue to haunt me. He now know about it and wants to end our marriage of 4 years. He had a vasectomy and yet I ended up pregnant again. The technician asks me if I want pictures, and I say, I do. When she leaves to print them, I repeat the lyric from Gone and I cry more while holding my stomach. Two years later in our relationship, he did end up confessing to me that the abortion caused him to resent me. Yes, he did everything he was supposed to and yes the tests afterwards declared him sterile. It wasnt the right time and the best way to move forward is by working to build a life in which you can raise a child in the future. Raising her was not easy on my own but he convinced me to move back so he can have his family. Unfortunately my health started to take a turn for the worse. She tells me, You dont have to do this. And an angel to look after you, too. Thank you for sharing your story, I made a promise to myself my decision was not in vain and Im almost done with my bachelors degree. But its up to you. In the end this is her choice and all I can do is support her to the best of my ability. But then, Im scared that I will have to raise a child by myself. I am unable to have children, so I will never know what it feels like, but I share your pain through the experiences of others. I felt empty after too, 10 years later and I still have regret. I was so lonely and had nobody to talk to, man I really thought I was gonna go crazy when we took the break. We were in this sad nightmare together, weren't we? I have never cried to hard in my life. To cheer you up when you're sad. The abortion debate has been going on for ages. I want two more children. I have an ultrasound which tells me you are a five-week-and-two-day-old single embryo. I am sad because I already have a connection with the child in my belly and I cry everyday thinking about the fact that I wont be able to hold him or her or see their face. I feel so alone, I have to carry this burden every day. Dont panic, I thought. I hope you are healing well and have found happiness in other areas of life, until you and your unborn baby see each other again. We dont regret it. You were crying, but I was dealing with the most pain of all. I feel so torn apart. Im 33. Dont forget the chips! I waited for him on the couch in our front room, digging my thumb into the ridge of my index finger on both hands. Its been 3 months since my abortion. He even started pulling out old toys and other items from when his own children were young. Im lost and have a follow up appointment in 2 weeks to test my hcg levels by that time is will be 8 weeks almost 9. The dad and I had talked about having another child after 3.5 yrs. STOP! I dont want to lose you. And so, we eat our burritos, filling ourselves with reality and carne asada. The saline solution burned the baby's skin and poisoned him or her. I was 36 yrs old, with a 3.5 yrs old girl who was born premature at week 28. This is not a fictional story. Your dad offers to drive me, but I want to listen to music on my headphones. I have seen many of my patients go through something similar and it is never easy. When I first find out I was shocked because it was unplanned and I know he doesnt want a baby yet he said he is not ready and me either but deep down I dont want to do this at all and i wanna see that cute little face:(( We agreed to do abortion. I feel manipulated and trapped. (Sense my sarcasm, little one.) Yet we faced a third pregnancy two years after deciding that our family was complete. I pray God gives me another chance and send him back to me one day. I already felt so attached. I am so sad that I will never meet that child, but I also know that it would have been less than what we all deserved. I am sad you were sad. I was 6 weeks when I went for an ultrasound .. and all I saw was a small blob that I referred to as my nugget. This resonates with me. Like you, I could not have made a life for my baby at that time. Immediately after I felt relief that I was not constantly nauseous and I could eat again. im 22 years old and just had an abortion over the weekend. Im not mad at you anymore. My boyfriend is full of regret and wishes he wouldnt have said hurtful things. It was at this point that I started to get really nervous, terrified actually. We argued and I prayed on it. nothing was ever the same between us. Published by Family Friend Poems March 2017 with permission of the author. My husband does not want another child. I dont know if you have lived in regret or relief of your abortion before this moment, or what feelings his opinions have risen out of you now- all I know is what you decided to do with your pregnancy, whether that involved him ten years ago or not, was your decision. Now, Im regretting every single day of my life. I go into a patient room for questions and Im told your dad can join me later for the mini-counseling session. I hope you are healing well and have found happiness in other ways, until one day you and your unborn baby see each other again. I found out Im 6 weeks pregnant last week. And I cry every single day. Your state requires that one of your parents be told of your decision 48 hours before your abortion. Made the biggest mistake of my life 4 yrs ago. I was afraid, honey. My blood is one part plasma and two parts pinot noir. Thank you for your bravery! I literally cry every moment I think of aborting it. I think about it most days (I would be due on 30th May which coincidentally is my birthday) but I dont dwell on it anymore and do appreciate that for me it just wasnt the right time and I was not ready or prepared to give a child the life it deserves. I take his hand in mine and say, Everything thats happened the past few weeks doesnt matter anymore. I feel alone, abandoned & ashamed that I have to make this decision. Three years later, I look back on that day as the most difficult, important, unforgettable, and un-regrettable moment of my life. I had not long been in a new job that I had wanted and worked hard for. If you can't take care of a child, please let someone adopt it. Jocelyn Miller is a Montessori teacher in San Francisco who spends her weekdays supporting the growth, development, and independence of young children. I am thinking of you xx. My boyfriend stayed with me but after a while he started blaming me and our relationship change . ????? I look back at him as the door closes behind me and I feel alone, until I remember youre there with me. I did an abortion 10 years ago and never disclosed to my them boyfriend who is now my husband. I hope my 2nd child knows I love him or her. It ruins our relationship badly as we are both regretting the biggest mistake we made in our lives. I dont want to get in trouble I just dont know what to think anymore. God has a way of pulling us out of any situation and will guide us and provide strength. Now, faced with having one in our early 40s is terrifying. I got an abortion two years ago and while I know it was the right decision it is something I still mourn, that was my first and my only as well and this article HITS HOME. There are so many things I am looking forward to, and I can't wait to be held in your arms and taught by the very best mama I can think of! When you make this list of pros and cons, I think it will help you understand the reality. However, I was quite blue that I was no longer pregnant and I actually experienced a bit of anger as the situation brought up unpleasant feelings from the past. That is my story which I have never shared. I miss my baby. I had an abortion back in 1999. A week before the abortion he changed his mind and got attached to the baby. My biggest fear is not be Abel to give my girl a sibling I will be 39 in a couple of days so . Out loud, we weigh the facts: I have my schooling, Id lose my position of junior teacher if I dont do the teacher training program, thus losing the ability to become a head teacher one day. Im so confused and torn between getting an abortion or keeping the baby. And the joy of playing with my friends. My boyfriend and I have only been dating a few months. In a saline abortion procedure, caustic saline solution was injected into the mother's womb. And draw pictures, made especially for you. My room mate and best friend had an abortion two days ago. So we did. In his remarks before Congress, Dr. Levatino describes in gruesome detail the procedure of killing a 24-week-old unborn baby. Floating in your tummy, feeling snug and warm. Today its been 1 year since the surgery. his mom knew, she had taken me to my appointment. Then I sobbed when I put the phone down. Best of luck! I am going through the same exact thing you are. I was so excited when I found out because I didnt even know if could have kids. Couldnt take my meds or prenatals because the baby threw up everything. Love to you and your baby girl. I was never able to have a child, she was my first and only chance. I didnt want to be, but I had a hard time standing up to him and saying no for myself. Do NOT submit poems here, instead go to the. The following article is one I submitted back in March 2017. I was extremely saddened by the Feb. 18 Buffalo News article concerning the 36 actresses who intended to spend hours reading from "The Handmaid's Tale" to benefit . I have three healthy children 21,17 and 13 from a previous marriage. I feel I would regret it everyday for the rest of my life. The 45-year-old actor's statements on abortion were read at a rally outside of Mississippi's last abortion clinic, Jackson Women's Health Organization. or It was hard but I dont regret it. My periods had always been very irregular and I had taken over the counter tests when it got late but I got negatives the both times so I was certain I wasnt pregnant. This brings me to a previous pregnancy right before this in which I unfortunately miscarried. That exact day I started bleeding I went to the ER and they said I might miscarry again I told him and he is convinced I am going to lose the baby. I dont want to go through an abortion again. Anti-abortion and abortion-rights activists argue their viewpoints on the steps of the State House in Trenton, N.J., April 30, 1973. I immediately was overcome with fear! All I wanted to do was feel your skin and smell you. God is never bored of you. I miss my baby every minute of every day. I feel like regardless if I keep our baby or not he is not going to be apart of my life anymore. Your dad looks at me and then the tests before putting them down, one in my lap and the other in his, but it falls in between us how symbolic. In the last twenty minutes of my lunch break, I walked to Walgreens and bought the test thinking the employees must assume Im really irresponsible (I guess I was?). I knew that if I went in for an ultrasound and saw features on that monitor.. there was no way I could go through with it. I dont have a strong conviction I can do this. I hate that Im stuck with making this decision. but no one wants that for me. It is killing me to know she is alive now and she wont be in a few days. My name is also Ashley and im also at the 10 year mark. Ive always had irregular periods and issues. On the day of the appointment I cried so much I couldnt get myself to do it and as time went on I decided to keep him. And Im scared because Ive read what an abortion can do or affect my fertility. Ill be 43 when the child would be born. None of it matters. Your dads hand squeezes mine, although I dont think its purposeful, and he asks again, Whats wrong? I look him dead in the eyes, knowing Im about to change his life forever. I just felt I needed more time to see other heart specialist and doctors to figure out what can be done about my heart before I have another child. If anything more of their fault because they shoot the load but were the ones that have to suffer through the pain. I had my first and only abortion 10 years ago at age 22, my partner who turned into my husband were together for only 2 months and the uncertainty left me with the choice to dissolve my pregnancy at 5 weeks. Have you done it? Just like you, I too was in university. If you know you arent ready for this trust yourself. Ill always be one. Im not financially free..and my boyfriend said he will literally kill me if I decide to keep the baby. I just broke up with my boyfriend 4 days ago after finding out that he has been cheating on me.Deep down I knew that I was pregnant after 20 days late of my periods and my breasts becoming tender.Today I Decided to take the test and found out that Im Pregnant.I lost my mother a year ago and do not have anyone who will support me and the baby financially.It hurts that Weve always had conversations about having a baby one daday,now that it is happening and Im all alone,I feel like a stupid.termination is the only option but I dont even know What to expect. I dont want to live in regret of having an abortion. I wanted to give her grandchildren but that couldnt be my only reason for keeping the baby. Can I ask what you ended up doing? My partner said he would support me either way but I knew deep down to him it might as well have been the end of the world.