Thank God we dont have any children involved! All rights reserved. I thought everything was going well, we were hitting on better than ever, having more fun talking more, I felt confident things were going well as he told me they were. Samantha is 30 years old, looks 3 years younger. Sadly there is no research about depression and suicide in men at this life stage (there's little enough about women). Drugs and cheating were problems in the past. My two closest friends both claim that if he said jump I would ask how high so I think I was attentive especially when he asked me for special items for dinner or what not I always make sure he had his request fufilled. We can, for sure, take this as a learning experience about ourselves and our relationship needs. I dont get it for you either. I need some feed back on how to deal with this.Please help me.Give me some Ideas. But its almost sociopathic, I think, to be so accommodating to the same person that you were in a self- described toxic relationship with and a partner that you couldnt ever communicate with and now be completely calm and methodical with. I pray this is Gods will. Conversely, if your spouse works long hours out of necessity, this can signify that they're willing . My husband of 32 years has just announced that he never loved me and is moving out. Lately he has been sleeping in the spare room, leaves in the morning to visit his parents, comes back and then blames me saying that he dosent want to be around someone miserable. To encourage these unstable people to follow their hearts and destroy what they built with someone just because they have unanswered issues within themselves is a societal disaster. As with a garden, when a relationship isnt tended to, it withers and dies. My virginity was stolen from me raped at the age of 14 by 2 people I thought were my friends. I just dont understand why Im not good enough for him. Then four months later he came back and I got preganant. Paul thats interesting. I miss her deeply. I am livid with her, but at the same time I love her, and would do anything to be able to sort things out and get us back together. The kids are with her in the parents house. My x married her affair partner within the allowed 60 days of our divorce finalized. It wasnt until I became a single parent that I really began to understand how much of a taboo subject it still is. I wish I could take the pain away!I cant bear the thought this might take years to get over. As woman we must always trust our gut, I wish I had so many times. Take time to really get to know who you are dealing with. Whats the toughest part is she just stopped communication totally. So just like you want to be loved and cared for, he wants the same thing. We had a solid marriage and two great kids. Im still not sure how he just left us like that. b) they get sick c) you are unfortunate enough to owe them money ( or as they think, owe them a life ) what happens to a child or sibling of one as they grow older. Character counts, have some standards that you are not willing to make exceptions on. Dont punish him for this though, because he hasnt done anything wrong. For the best part of a week I thought he wanted space. Hello, I have a question about coping with my wife leaving me for someone else. During this time my Family saw the truth, because my ex husband and his girlfriend did so many cruel things. please advice me what to do. Sometimes the warning signs of an unhappy partner are there, but you may not clearly see them. If you would like to consult with a mental health professional, please feel free to return to our homepage, http://www.goodtherapy.org/, and enter your zip code into the search field to find therapists in your area. Then he told me he wasnt leaving anymore he chose me because I love him so much Im so confused I dont know what to do CUs know I cant trust him or if he decides to do it again. In my parents day, they stood together and stayed married, committed right through, the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. I have paid for the clothes on his back to the cigs in his mouth since day 1. This is not a mistake a mistake is backing your car into a bollard or something similar. I am totally devastated. 1. I smile all the time, Im happy and content despite the mess my marriage is in. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I cant stop crying but dont know what to think. Loads of people with mental health conditions are able to enjoy long lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. After 27 years of marriage, four kids, two grands, my husband packed up. god help me to get through this. I would like for to pray for me to restore my marriage,I still want to work out are problems.. My husband is leaving me after 5 years of marriage 7 years together. My wife is using her hatred against me and the past mistakes Ive made are catching up to her. As of now, it has left me heartbroken. We talked and decided to give it another try things were great at first l felt like a queen. Also my ex husband stole 25k. They are together now. I think she kept downing our relationship. I feel bad for those who do, because I dont even understand it. He now comes home one day a week and a little on the weekends. Shes moved along with out a blink and I have to start all over again. I started this relationship and had a son at age 19 years.. Years. So we moved and then I noticed she one week she ceas carry we cell with her at all times, this was not like her she even slept with it . If you think your husband is depressed too, and you're trying to save your marriage . Just because someone is depressed, has anxiety, or [insert mental illness here], doesn't mean you should write them off. I hope to find a better job and will be the best dad I can be to my kids. Just worry about yourself. no good reason and that hes been thinking about it for a year! Despite the length of a relationship, each partner must be committed to doing their share of the work, and communicating their own needs. I thought to myself what the fk? And protect yourself because if shes not looking out for you you need to. Respond to me let me know how youre doing :). Rachel Im sure everyone on this site will concur that most partners who leave think about it for years before doing it. I have had 15 yrs of therapy along with institutional treatment, CBT, outpatient care thousands of AA Meetings and lots of retreats. Anyone in a marriage affected by depression will benefit from the support of a counselor also. i had love in college. He is indicating he has no power to change; you have all the power. Hi Kelly, I know what it feels like to go through that. I am breaking apart because I am getting the divorce process in place but I love my wife. Fight for yourself, believe in yourself and never ever blame yourself for the ignorance of others. I genuinely believe she has and will continue to put the children in even remote danger by having what I would consider strangers move into their place. One thing we never were was abusive to each other but this morning in particular she punched me in the face out of anger. I am sincerely sorry to have read and felt your confusing, pain and patience in your situation. I cried out to him and said, Why are you leaving!? Its almost been six months and it feels like yesterday. His behavior is classic. I just wish I could hit fast forward. Give your kids a Merry Christmas and an amazing role model for the new year. But I will not allow someone to make an inaccurate statement about people with personal disorders. I get there and she pretends like nothings wrong. I met my wife when I was 18 and she was 16. Hope this helps. I went into shock.. I said no to moving out because a) I sole own the house and sole was paying the mortgage and B) I thought her behaviour was erratic and odd for the months leading up to her moving out plus I was getting fed up of rolling over to her whims. It's OK To Fake It A Little After Your Husband Leaves. I was a stay Hm dad for 3 years and I think it caused the divorce. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. The important thing here is that you find someone who can make you feel good again. I can have my flatulence moments with only the kids laughing at me and I am learning about me. Though I miss him and would love for him to be at home with us, he refuses to get psychological help Therefore, I believe its better hes gone. She nonchalantly says I am going to stay with my step Im fairly sure he had affairs, he cheated a lot before when we were together, lied so much, did drugs and lost his job while I was pregnant. Anyone looking in from the outside would say Im a fool. Travelling back and forth abroad to see her. It has now been some time since then and many conversations regarding the relationship not being one where we operated as a couple. We stayed in contact each time she moved, she slept over here or I slept over there. There are not only 5 reasons a relationship ends is all Im pointing out. Failure to "wake up and smell the roses". Im married since 11 months my wife is very sensitive and warm hearted.. Jeez, sounds like the 26 year itch. Yet she is cold. Well, whatever the case may be, this article is for you. Just have to keep moving forward. Seems life will continue and I appreciate the hope you have instilled through sharing the stories you have all provided. I know we fought and that wasnt good for the kids but how can you just cut some one out of your life like shes done to me. 2. I am sad but trying to get my life back together. We starting counseling again and went through three counselors, one of which he choose, over the last 3 years. I was just so stunned, this lady used to have an actual heart, now I dont know what to make of it all I am so confused. My exwife left me for some guy she meet at a club and he choked her to death. ..u have given me strength. Ohh they are just girls. Make a list of the things you didnt like about her and your marriage. Now our oldest daughter is living with her across town and trying to make sure she doesnt do herself too much harm drinking herself unconsciousness (appears wine is no longer evil) or otherwise. Maybe once I can accept that then Ill start to move on, at least from crying and feeling like I cant and dont want to even get out of bed. When someone walks away from u let them walk ur destiny was never tied to anyone that left. Wonderful husband. WHY??? She had no problems telling me that she was moving out to her nieces. Not everybody is Christian or catholic!!! But over the course of 13 years it would wear on her to the point that a few months back she finally broke down and told me how much it would hurt her. Im not sure whats worse having your spouse off the deep end and watching them demonstrate it, or having someone appear completely intact going through life whilst I am going WTF Im so hurt right now I didnt know what I do wrong to deserve this..anyways as youve said people should move on it us very easy to say but when you are in situation is very hard. If you need help finding a therapist, you are welcome to call us. She was my everything, my whole reason for being. Its a love that looks right., She asked us, Did you know he has Down syndrome? I was a little shocked. She recommends practicing self-compassion, and treating yourself the same way you would treat a friend going through the experience. Getting in touch with a professional relationship coach is one of the best things you can do in order to start taking care of yourself and living a fulfilling and happy life. He said no, that for the first time in years he finally had a best friend. I guess they been talking about kids were emotions came back and he told me that not to hate him but he had to go cuz he want to be with his kids and I found text from her saying hi babe I miss you. All you have to do is think about the things youre good at and all the times youve helped others. At the time, my husband was working 14-18 hours a day just to keep food on the table. Plus she cheated on me 3 times that I know off. Believe, shell want you back. Mental illness alone is no excuse to break up with someone. His perspective is that he tried to be emotionally connected over and over only to be disappointed by my lack of response to his reaching out. I am struggling in finding a way to deal with his departure as my love for him yearns and hurts at the same time. I have found pills over and over hidden in her car before she totaled it . I have recently been told by my wife that she is divorcing me. Dear Kelly, If you think consulting with a mental health professional might help you, please use our directory to find a good fit. I did everything I could and I was under the impression that things were improving as the passion from her appeared to return. Fact is- the reality might be harsher now. I am so sorry you are going true this, I am feeling your pain. I dont know how this pain is ever going to go away. Im wondering how you are feeling? Or he /she is crazy!!! Im rattling round the house all alone, crying and pleading all nigt for my wife to come home, I love her so much, She never told me what I was doing wrong. I'm not more overwhelmed by my life than I was when I was still in my marriage. His excuse is he doesnt want the government involved. I guess theres a lot of money being made in the divorce and recovery business encouraging people like my ex wife to wreck our families. I dont know how youre not happy when Ive given you everything in the world I dont think youll ever realize what kind of devastation caused our family. Keep me posted on how things are going for you. I hurt my back at work and was off then went back she just finished college at this point, she got a job and then I found out I had a prostate problem, so I had a cathador in for a while and again was off work, at this point we were still getting things caught up. No real reason, rhyme.. if only it made sense. It aint that easy. Letting go of the past - especially a husband who left you for another woman - isn't about "getting over it.". She has also began lying, eg i found out she was seeing a counsellor, she said they were actually friends, but I have seen she has been paying her fees on her bank statements.