270. Plus, youre never gonna become funny and charismatic by being afraid to speak your mind. 208. If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. 250. 58. Can February march? Positive Daily Affirmations for Women. Home: Where I can look ugly and not care. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.". I can engage in small acts of kindness to uplift other people. 134. 1. 116. God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. I am my childs greatest comfort. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. We have divided these daily funny affirmations in these sections; Also check out our post ondaily affirmations for womenandaffirmations for menthat can help you to feel motivated and reshape your limiting beliefs. Best friends eat your food. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? I can create positive change in the world. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. 192. A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Related Post: 201 Awesome Short Inspirational Quotes About Life. I choose to stop obsessing about my body. You can also share them with your co-workers to put a smile on their faces. I am on a seafood diet. Ive got three bones. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well. 88. 23. 121. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. 110. Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. Emphasis on the cool. Whenever I get back home, I lose all the superpowers that I had when with friends. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. 98. Life is a game full of little and big surprises. Say "Thank you" - A Motivational Video On The Importance Of GratitudeIntro Speech by Denzel Washington (Commencement Speech)Main speech by Fearless Soul "Tha. 5. You can write them on sticky notes to set on your mirror, on the notes app in your phone for on-the-go encouragement, or you can simply memorize your favorites and recite . I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Remember that the effects of affirmations are no laughing matter, so make sure your voice is heard. 162. My funny vibes attract my happy tribe. When our phones fall, we panic; but when our friends fall, we laugh. I train my body. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Find a quiet place without distractions. Be careful when you follow the masses. 126. 272. Actually, you dont have to imagine. The best things in life are free. Pardon me, I have 6 pounds of boneless mass to get rid of. Loving yourself and believing in yourself is the first step in making these funny positive affirmations work for you. 94. 218. Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you. You may have people laugh at you instead of with you. 188. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. "Who you are inside is what helps you make and do everything in life". In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. Run. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? I am capable of rewriting my grievances and transforming my fears. Funny Positive Affirmations For Work. Enjoy! Albert Einstein Discover short videos related to funny affirmations on TikTok. 146. 26. 224. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. Today I will embrace the poop., 7. - F. 235. [click_to_tweet tweet=I can always think of something funny to say. quote=I can always think of something funny to say. theme=style4], 2023 Oldtown Publishing LLC 479 State Route 17 N 159. Following my intuition and my heart keeps me safe and sound. 179. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. Im not weird, Im just limited edition. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. no rich foods. Here are some tips on how to make the most of using these humorous affirmations: Laughter and affirmations are already powerful separately, so imagine what they can do for you when combined. - Unkmown. Everyone recognizes how positive emotions can affect attitude and overall health. 48. 233. I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. Dear universe, Im totally open to all of the amazing things coming my way. Nobody gets out alive anyway. When our phones fall, we panic; but when our friends fall, we laugh. Here are the 200 best sarcastic quotes, from funny comments, sayings, and phrases dripping with snarky sarcasm. Have a look! With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Bill Murray, 260. I live in a loving, nurturing, safe, and beautiful world. Sam Levenson Lifes biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I dont want to get out of bed. 66. Steven Alexander Wright With a cowculator. 233. 33. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny. Not everyone has good taste. May life man not be perfect, but Im blessed., 13. 134. My mistakes dont define me. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. Lily Tomlin, 242. 1. Here, we are listing down some awesome funny positive affirmations that will bring out serious positive changes in you. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Because it was soda pressing. Start your day on a positive and lighter note with these funny daily affirmations and quotes to get you through. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if youre one of them (I bet you are), youre going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm. Life begins on Friday night. 164. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. Erma Bombeck. Revenge sounds so mean, thats why I prefer to call it Returning the favor. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. My son is now an entrepreneur. My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. 230. If you are looking for a way to get more laughs in your day, try some of these funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Daily affirmation: your hair is so much better than it was in middle school., 2. I could agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. P.D. "Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.". Find a short calm and peaceful moment in your day and use it for setting your mindset up for happiness. When I can laugh at myself, life becomes so much easier. 3. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. 7. Thank God Im an atheist. 268. 266. Im laughing at the confusion and smiling through the tears. 35. 215. Seeing a spider in my room isnt scary. But this shouldnt be a problem, as you can come up with your own humorous affirmations. But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. "We . We'll get to that later. Whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. I am already great, and I am yet to reach my full potential. Im full of funny ideas waiting to be expressed. 247. 216. The world is missing some pizzazz. 200. I dont know how to act my age because Ive never been this old before. Laughter can help you see the humor in otherwise grim situations. 104. Today Im going to reach for the stars so that I can air out my armpits. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. 219. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. Not everyone has good taste. 193. My body deserves healthy food and exercise, not junk food or laziness. For the best seat in the house, youll have to move the dog. Send me the link. Funny Friday Quotes. 9. Laughter brings me closer to people. Those who snore always fall asleep first. 9. Go to bed with satisfaction.". Without further ado, lets look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me. 93. 240. I often wish I was someone else Just so I could hang around with someone as awesome as me. I just go normal from time to time. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. Im not arguing, Im just telling you why youre wrong. 214. 206. Theres life without Facebook and internet? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Should I Send My Child to Therapy? We may speak different languages, but we all laugh the same. 93. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. When life closes a door, just open it again. I am attractive just as I am. If you steal from one author, its plagiarism; if you steal from many, its research. Love your enemies. 126. Effective pushing often involves poop. Ill start this journey with my 10 favorite funny affirmations that never fail to make me laugh. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when Im with you. Once you're feeling happy and confident about your sense of humor, use these 35 affirmations to navigate challenging situations with a smile. Alexa, please clean the negativity off of my mind please. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Oscar Wilde, 5. 1. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. I am grateful for that time. 89. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes., 2. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? And get over it. Im not here to judge, Im just pointing out all the mistakes youre making. Say your affirmations slowly and clearly. With a cowculator. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? What is Mozart doing right now? Dont worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. A wishbone. , we dont need our internal dialogue to pile on too. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. Helen Giangregorio 23. 237. I tell you what always catches my eye. I didnt want to interrupt her. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. I dont care! If I want a squirrel to like me, I guess I gotta act like a nut. Relax, its the weekend, just dont blink or it will be all over. Your habits become your values. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 7. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Im gonna be worse., 12. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldnt complain. Affirmations to wealth are a great way for you to organize your thoughts and develop a positive outlook. Superwoman: single. 211. I will be the type of person I would like my children to become. If youre looking for a way to brighten your day and amp up your attitude, youve come to the right place. 205. 236. - Unknown. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. Over time, when you use these affirmations, your mind begins to equate new words with weight loss. 41. Never forget that broken crayons can also color. 246. 203. My sense of humor makes the world a better place., 8. I am so f*cking awesome. I have Alzheimers bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. 1. Does it count if you say them in your mind? I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case were having cake. 121. 212. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa. It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 9. Below youll find a collection of funny affirmations for work that will help you stay motivated and fight the work stress more efficiently. Sam Levenson. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. If I lose my hopes, I am afraid my mom will still scold me for taking it out and showing it to friends. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? Dont forget that you get 24 hours, even on your worst day. Quotes that make no sense Photo: pexels.com (modified by author) Source: UGC. 27. 71. Sam Levenson 172. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. 1. Here's some short funny affirmations that will hopefully brighten up your day. Just like every Monday does on Earth. I know the best time to make fun. 1. My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Keep your affirmations in the present. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. I will smile while I still have my teeth. 3. You definitely dont want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there! Life is always rocky when youre a gem. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Ensure that your actions match your words. 83. 275. I didnt mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. 98. Its not easy staying motivated for work all the time. Albert Einstein, 190. 261. 109. Robert Bloch I am passing all the things and hardships with a smile. 36. I teach my kids good things in sarcastic ways. If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Love your enemies. Finding humor in a difficult situation helps me win. It's why you may feel excinervous (aka excited and nervous at the same time). It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor. I have a healthy body, tranquil mind and a vibrant soul. 125. Roy Lichtenstein. Hes dreaming too. I put my phone in airplane mode, but its not flying. Smiles are contagious, be a carrier. Im not running away from hard work, Im too lazy to run. Robert Bloch. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. 118. Why is England the wettest country? What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? 175. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. When they go away, its a brighter day. Yesterday I did nothing and today Im finishing what I did yesterday. I didnt give a f*ck yesterday, I dont give a f*ck today, and I wont give a f*ck tomorrow either.